Day 24 - Mixed Feelings

Haven't written in awhile. Started back to school last week (teacher pre-service week) and started for real yesterday. I have to say that in the beginning I thought that once I reached day 24 I would have lost over 20 pounds. Not sure if that was realistic, but it's what was in my head. I am still only down 10 pounds, but a lot is going on. It's hard to stay 100% on track with JUST the juice all day every day. The funny thing is, I am not tempted at the times where I thought I would be, for example a staff breakfast or eating lunch with other teachers on my team. I thought dinner would be the easiest - it's NOT. It's the hardest. I can make it all day and then at night I fall apart. When I "cheat" and eat at night (pho soup mostly) I don't lose any weight that day and it takes me a couple days to start losing again. Also, I lose more weight when I work out, but I have been so exhausted after working all day that it is hard. I am giving myself a break this week (although I did lift weights last night) and I am hoping to get started with my workout plan next week. After having the summer off, my feet are killing me this week! I can't imagine running on them. Ouchie!

This weekend my food addiction reared its ugly head after an emotional day. One of the main triggers of my eating is my mother. Mom, if you are reading this, I'm sorry but it's true. After a little stressful situation with her, I was feeling downright depressed all day. Nothing seemed to help get me out of the funk. All I wanted was to eat - BAD food! That, of course, made me angry with myself because once again my food addiction was winning. I knew that I should use my coping skills - pray or mentally go to my happy place - but SCREW THAT. I wanted to eat, damn it. So, I did and I must say, I felt better. So I gave myself the grace of indulging and coping the way I wanted to. I just made a promise that tomorrow was a new day and I would simply try again. One thing I have learned is to LOVE MYSELF and give myself a break - but not too much of a break. Oh, and by the way, even though the pounds aren't pouring off like I would like, I am actually losing inches. Belly (or nasty gut as I call it) is shrinking. Woo Hoo!